Tuesday, June 14, 2011

The Long Way Around

Roughly a year ago when I decided I wanted to commit my life to skiing for at least one season and I had started to tell people about my plans, the typical response was that they thought I would be taking a "year off". In a society that expects all of it's youth to instantly jump into post secondary education after high school, any dreams or aspirations that they might pursue are seen as some type of break from real life. This last year has been more challenging and interesting than any of the other 18 years I've experienced, not to mention I have learned more than I did in any one my 12 years of school. 

The possibilities that lie outside of post secondary education when one is a young adult are endless, however they hold a massive amount of responsibility. It can be very easy to wake up in a room paid for by your parents, and follow instructions and schedules all day. I endured 5 years of high school much like this, and though I accomplished very little regarding grades, all the stresses and challenges that I experienced existed  because I didn't understand myself and how to motivate myself. My self discovery came when I left home, worked my ass off all summer and skied almost every day for six months. It's after this journey that I learned more about myself and how to self motivate. 

This year hasn't been easy. In the last month I've started to question why I'm doing construction labour 10 hours a day and skimping on purchases so that I can save money for next year. I'm wondering why I'm feel anxiety about my health, why I should go to the gym everyday come fall, why I'm paying rent and not just living at home, why I'm constantly buying new skis because the old ones just seem to break. I'm wondering I'm doing this when I could crack open my student savings account, go to University and drink 4 nights a week and still manage to ski once in a while. The reason why is because I'm sticking to my goals. I want to ski all the time, and I want people to witness and enjoy my skiing. Beyond that goal I'm not really sure what I want, maybe I'll stop when I've got some establishment in the ski industry, had some decent film segments, maybe I'll quit once I've been on the national ski cross team and have been in the Olympics. Regardless, I don't plan on ever not skiing and when I do stop it will just mean that I'm not changing the rest of my life to do it so intensely like I am right now.

I feel that I've made a lot of sacrifices this year, and that not having people telling you where to go, and what to do can make life confusing and intimidating. However it's all worth it.